John Woodruff

John Woodruff

John Woodruff

John Woodruff

Bio Abstract

John Woodruff holds a Ph.D. in Romance Languages from The University of Alabama, an M.A. in Spanish/Latin-American Studies also from The University of Alabama, and a distinctive B.A.U.H. in Spanish/Mathematics from the University of Montevallo.

A specialist in Spanish-American colonial texts, Dr. Woodruff's interdisciplinary analysis of the periconquest Maya narrative commonly known as Popol Vuh draws upon critical theory of paratext, marginalia, and rhetoric. He is the only scholar to apply modern marginalia theory to Popol Vuh and his most recent publication looks at marginal annotations and modal shifts to expose an unacknowledged authorial entity within the narrative's "preamble" found in the first folio recto. Other areas of interest and study include Maya anthropology, the Cuban missile crisis, and the Generation of 1927 poets and dramatists. More recently, Dr. Woodruff has developed an interest in gender law and policy.

In addition to his formal academic inquiry, Dr. Woodruff is presently authoring a novel, a collection of evocative short stories, and a textbook. He is also the author of various workflow automation utilities including Excellent Grades, FormMail++, and CalTX (see projects). More information, as well as statements of research and teaching philosophy, is available on his academic site.


Through experiences endured, adversities overcome, and demons vanquished come various insights into the human condition. The following observations (in no particular order) are humbly submitted for contemplation.

  • Knowing little dreams lots.
  • Take me as I am; believe in me as I will be.
  • Understand as it is, imagine as it can, strive as it will.
  • We are accountable not for what we are taught but for what we learn.
  • If you are not facing challenges, you are not pursuing your destiny.
  • My hindsight is so good that perhaps I should walk through life backward.
  • Sometimes I'm the head, sometimes the tail. But the tail still leads when the horse finds it necessary to back up.
  • Not all pictures in life are drawn in the same shade of crayon, and some ill-deserving bastard will always have the deluxe set.
  • Pain speaks louder than wisdom.
  • A hurt that cures is better than a hurt that endures.
  • If we're supposed to make lemonade when life brings us lemons, when life brings us plums, should we make prune juice?
  • Money doesn't buy happiness; it buys entertainment and distraction, which is at least better than mindfulness of unhappiness.
  • Only once we have been shattered can a higher power guide us through the reassembly.
  • Go big or go home, but be judicious in going all-in so that there will still be a farm and a cow waiting if going home becomes necessaary.
  • He who continues to fish in a septic tank will continue to catch the same old shit.
  • The essence of our "best" is not whether it can be somehow improved upon at a later time. Today's best will produce tomorrow's better still. Our best is cognizable by our inability to improve upon it today‌.
  • Everything I write is completely original, and any thoughts attributable to another person are entirely coincidental -- unless you believe in collective unconsciousness, in which case it is just another expression of the same original thought -- unless you subscribe to the notion that everything that is written has already been written before, in which case you have to ask, is the dog chasing its tail or is the tail taunting its dog.
  • A word is worth a thousand sentences (to an etymologist).


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