Birmingham has always had incompetent broadcast journalism. For the last year, television and radio outlets claim “Alabama prohibits holding a mobile device while driving.” That is flatly untrue. Journalists should verify facts, not parrot words.more ›
Xenophobia (feat. Joshua McKoon)
Georgia Senator Joshua McKoon proposed a state constitutional amendment to require that all government business be conducted in English and it makes no good sense. As a citizen with one foot still in Georgia (and the other foot looking for better soil to tread), this moronic initiative bothered me when I first heard of it, but it has really stuck in my craw and I must now speak out.more ›
Certificates of Service
Certificates of services are required for almost every court filings. Attorneys generally copy-paste some perfunctory prose for decades without ever revising the text for ongoing changes to state and federal rules of procedure. I offer these suggestions for modernizing certificates of service. Here is my omnibus modernization.more ›
Alabama Gender Recognition, Equity, and Enforcement (A.G.R.E.E.)
This is a bill that I authored and endeavored to present to the Alabama legislature. No senators or representatives were willing to take the risk. TO BE VERY CLEAR, THIS PROPOSED BILL NEVER BECAME LAW. In 2023 I decided to make it available online in hopes that the right eyes might find it and effect the change that I could not. more ›
Alabama’s Misdemeanor Trial System
I was once obliged to deep-dive Alabama’s insane misdemeanor trial system, the explanation of which requires some 2,000 words. I choose to make the research available as a public service so that idiot legislators and lazy attorneys get the facts right. more ›
Not a Lawyer
You think that I have no strategy because I’m not a lawyer, but it’s because I’m not a lawyer that you don’t perceive my strategy—I am not limited by the way lawyers think. Self
American Flag Laws
Congress enacted very precise standards for the American flag (see 4 U.S.C. §§1-10). I want to point out particulatly that the flag must never be sewn as clothing!!! Under §8(d) and §8(j), “[t]he flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery” and “[n]o part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.” American flag bikinis? Illegal. American flag boxers? Illegal. more ›
Foundational Ratio of American Justice
The law holds that it is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer. William Blackstone (1769)
It was better to let the crime of a guilty person go unpunished than to condemn the innocent. Coffin, et al. v. United States, 156 U.S. 432 (1895)
Woodruff v. City of Pelham
Woodruff v. City of Pelham (1 So. 3d 157) began with a petty traffic citation and reached courthouse shenanigans that I just could not tolerate. I won this appeal and the appellate decision has been cited more than two dozen times in state and federal courts. Most significantly, it laid the foundation for vacating Deangelo Thomas’s conviction and three life sentences. But Alabama never lets anyone skate and true to form, Greg Shaw wrote a separate concurring opinion in which he unleashed a vitriolic ad hominem attack. Following the opinion, I will explain the ways that Shaw twisted his pen.more ›
Private Citizens, Public Servants
I’m a private citizen with rights, but you’re a public servant with duties. Self

