Opaque Communication

I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you’ve probably misunderstood what I’ve said. Alan Greenspan

I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Alan Greenspan

When Right ≠ Legal

There have been times throughout American history where what is right is not the same as what is legal. Sometimes to do the right thing you have to break a law. Edward Snowden

Unprecedented Until…

Everything is unprecedented until it happens for the first time. Tom Hanks as Chelsey Sullenberger in Sully

Kenny Malone Tree Service

This is one of Kenny Malone’s employees working in Sept 2025. This street is the only way in or out. No flagman and no signs warning of work ahead. So when this came into my field of view, it appeared to me that the skid steer operator was nosing in so that I could pass. That’s when he slammed it into reverse. He began shouting profanity, waiving his arms, and then completely blocked the street and crossed his arms. He only moved when I alerted him to the white car. I wonder if that homeowner knew that Kenny Malone would treat the neighbors this way.

Spiritual mental health

Mental health issue: failing to operate as if not having the mind of Christ and power Self

Alabama Gender Recognition, Equity, and Enforcement (A.G.R.E.E.)

This is a bill that I authored and endeavored to present to the Alabama legislature. No senators or representatives were willing to take the risk. TO BE VERY CLEAR, THIS PROPOSED BILL NEVER BECAME LAW. In 2023 I decided to make it available online in hopes that the right eyes might find it and effect the change that I could not. more ›

Cell Near Context Hack

This “ignore cells” regex will cause the profile to remain active by disregarding building deadspots and transient misreads of tower IDs.

!~R^(\p{L}{3,}:(\d{4,}|\d{3}\.\d{3})\.\d{3,})?(?:\b|$)

Social Accountability

We are accountable not for what we are taught but for what we learn. (In other words, we are not accountable for being taught bigotry or racism or sexism or xenophobia, but we are accountable for learning those behaviors.) Self

Car Dealership Behind-the-Scene

This American Life episode "129 Cars" photo of JASON MASCIA who sold 228 new vehicles in 2013
NPR’s This American Life spent October 2013 at a Jeep dealership on Long Island, New York as the sales teams scrambles for its corporate incentive goal of 129 cars. If they make it, the dealership gets a huge bonus from Chrysler between $65,000 and $85,000 (depending on the models sold). So they pull out all the stops and in the process reveal a great deal about how to reverse the process to get a better deal when buying a car.

Vainglorious achievement

Behold, that which I have built will I break down, and that which I have planted I will pluck up, even this whole land. And seekest thou great things for thyself? Seek them not. Jer 45:4-5 KJV

Paradox of Self-improvement

Sometimes pain screams so loud that we can’t hear Wisdom whisper. Self

Pain speaks louder than healing and agony argues with wisdom. Self

Nuance matters

There’s not much difference between ‘mouse’ and ‘mouth’ except between the jaws of a cat. Self

Going Big

Go big or go home, but don’t bet the farm or the cow so that there is still a home option. Self

Go big or go home, but make sure you don’t bet the farm or the cow. Self

Go big or go home, but be judicious in going all-in so that there will still be a farm and a cow waiting if going home becomes necessary. Self

Difficult Forgiveness

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake

Individual Freedom

A man’s right to swing his fist ends at his neighbor’s nose. A neighbor’s right to be nosy stops at a man’s fist. Self

Change

Understand as it is, imagine as it can, strive as it will. Self

Foundational Ratio of American Justice

The law holds that it is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer. William Blackstone (1769)

It was better to let the crime of a guilty person go unpunished than to condemn the innocent. Coffin, et al. v. United States, 156 U.S. 432 (1895)

ADB Wifi

A windows batch file quickly enables Tasker to unlock all of the ADB wifi commands. Copy/paste these lines and save as “adb.bat”. Run the batch file after connecting Android devices to a windows machine.more ›

Ambivalent value

You can take back your memories; they’re no good to me. All-American Rejects

Full Disclosure

I can’t tell you what I don’t know! Dominic Keating as Malcolm Reed in Star Trek: Enterprise S4E16 (“Divergence”)

Beautiful Truth

Beauty is truth, truth beauty—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

State of mind

Does having sex on the brain make the person a mastermind? Self

Know it all

It is not that I know it all, but rather that I know the one who knows it all. Self

Atheist Zeal

There is no proselyter half so energetic as the hard-shelled atheist. Heywood Broun

Simplify

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein

Transfer to my enemy

May this suffering be removed from me and cast upon my enemies (and may they know whence it came!). ‍Self (recovering from first-ever migraine)

Many Eyes in Team

There is no “I” in team, but there are twice as many “eyes” as there are players and an “aye” in the middle. Self

The Crimson White: “Response to evangelist should affirm truth in minds, hearts”

The Crimson White: "Response to evangelist should affirm truth in minds, hearts"About a year before I came to UA, I had an interesting encounter with a man who called himself “Brother Jim.” Brother Jim upset a lot of people on the University of Montevallo campus. A few students cried; some vociferated rebuttals; still others did nothing.

What I had trouble understanding that day was why my intelligent peers continued to congregate around that man when few, if any, supported his assertions. My pal Kristin tried to explain her compulsion to me this way: “I need to be here so that others will know that what he’s saying isn’t the truth.”more ›

Preparation and Opportunity

Fortuna est quae fit cum praeparatio in occasionem incidit. [Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity] Seneca

Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation. Zig Ziglar

Effort and Grace

I’m doing what I can, when I can, as best I can, and hope for whatever grace can be found. Self

Focus and Belief

I never thought of the possibility of failing, only of the fame and glory I was going to get when I won. I could see it. I could almost feel it. When I proclaimed that I was the greatest of all time, I believed in myself, and I still do. Mohammed Ali

Personal Growth

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety. Abraham Maslow

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again. Abraham Maslow

Multiple explanations

That is a possible explanation but another explanation is possibly very probable. Self

Discovering Truth

[T]ruth is best discovered by powerful statements on both sides of the question. Lord John Scott Eldon (1751-1838) quoting Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

Disputio

Would you punch yourself in a street fight? Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight.” Denzel Washington as Melvin Tolson in The Great Debaters

The Stupid Stick

Cousin, you so dumb that smacking you in the head with the stupid stick would raise your IQ. Self

Live fully

So live, that when thy summons comes to join the innumerable caravan, which moves to that mysterious realm, where each shall take his chamber in the silent halls of death, thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night, scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed by an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave. William Cullen Bryant, “Thanatopsis”

Cognitive flow

My brain was firing on all five cylinders today. Self

Don’t Be An Asshole

This profile scans wifi SSIDs and places the phone in vibrate in an number of situations such as religious centers, schools, theaters, and the like. Of course, it will not help if the location does not have wifi or if the wifi name does not contain a listed keyword, but on balance this profile should reduce the number of embarrassing or annoying disruptions. view | save

The 16 worst places to stash your stuff

The 16 worst places to stash your stuff
Location, location, location: Store owners aren’t the only ones concerned with finding the perfect spot in which to situate their stuff. Researchers in a wide variety of fields know that how you organize your environment — from where you stand in fitness class to the place you choose to store your meds — has a surprising effect on everything from your weight to your chances of staying well. In other words, when it comes to how you feel, it’s not just what you do, it’s where you do it. Here, surprisingly bad locales for your health — and the best places to optimize it.more ›

Xenophobia (feat. Joshua McKoon)

Georgia Senator Joshua McKoon proposed a state constitutional amendment to require that all government business be conducted in English and it makes no good sense. As a citizen with one foot still in Georgia (and the other foot looking for better soil to tread), this moronic initiative bothered me when I first heard of it, but it has really stuck in my craw and I must now speak out.more ›

Actual patriotism

Some whom the nation condemns as traitors are patriots because they give their lives so that freedom might live. Self

Sorrow Is Not Pessimism

And the truth about me is not that I’m really volatile and I’m unstable, but that I’m really vibrant, and the color of my sorrow is just as bright as the stripes of my delight. Jenny Slate on All Things Considered

Fear Itself

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life, a leadership of frankness and of vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. And I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days. ‍Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Sharing Happiness

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha

Power Monologues

Words to inspire, words to motivate, words to prioritize, words to convict, words to empower.more ›

Respect our rights

Our rights don’t end where your fear begins. Freedom is scary. Deal with it. John Bryan

Alabama’s Misdemeanor Trial System

I was once obliged to deep-dive Alabama’s insane misdemeanor trial system, the explanation of which requires some 2,000 words. I choose to make the research available as a public service so that idiot legislators and lazy attorneys get the facts right. more ›

Scope and Focus

You don’t need to boil the ocean to make a cup of coffee. unk

Gendersplaining

Manspaining uses 100 words for unambiguous communication. Womansplaining uses 100 words for communicating absolutely nothing.
Self

Forgivenesses

When you forgive yourself, whether others forgive you becomes less relevant. Self

Three Types of Denizens

It would seem that there are three types of people: cowards who run from risk, fools who ignore risk, and agents who accept risk. Self

Control Versus Influence

Just because something is out of our control does not mean that it is outside of our influence. Self

Battle Investment

Be more committed to your defense than your opponent is to the attack. ‍Self

Seeing Braille

I don’t have to be blind to recognize braille. That doesn’t mean I claim to read it. Self

Looking for signs

We often ask for signs when what we really want is encouragement. Self

Constancy

Constancy is keeping your mind made up while keeping it open too. Self

Call Rejector & Logger

This profile will automatically reject and log pre-defined callers. Three examples are provided in within its anonymous task: The first demonstrates the format for denying a specific number; the second demonstrates the format for blocking a specific extension (i.e. 222-333-XXXX); the third demonstrates syntax for combining rejection rules (preferable to numerous OR conditions for faster processing). Any blocked numbers are stored in a CSV file on the root directory. view | savemore ›

Announce Hours

This profile beeps and announces the time every hour. It can also be used for intra-days tasks such as re-initializing brightness and volumes each morning, activating IMAP push mail for business hours, and taking breaks. view | save

Victory only through opportunity

The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy. Hence the saying: One may know how to conquer without being able to do it. ‍孫子 (Sun Tzu), The Art of War

Horse and Water

I led the horse to water. I made the horse drink. The horse drowned in the process. I beat the dead horse to a pulp. The currents carried away the horse. The horse is no longer my problem. Self

I wish 7 Leguas had been more successful

The 1999 breakout band 7 Leguas had a smash debut album, Sombras Largas. The band has a proto-Evanescence vibe and Marta Folqués (lead vocals) had a versatile broadway power and a breathy rasp long before Adele even thought about success.

Out of phase

I was created out of phase with everyone else so that I might see what no one else sees ‍Self

Laws of a Democracy

The law has no moral or ethic; it is merely just or unjust, fair or unfair. Self

Ockham’s Razor

Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. William of Ockham

Mickey Johnson (attorney)

Attorney Larry Michael “Mickey” Johnson (Nashville, Ga) is an unmotivated piece of shit (which leads me to suspect the same of his legal assistant/wife for as it is said, birds of a feather flock together).more ›

Thoroughness

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but let’s not leave any stone unturned either. Self

Courage and Honor

You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. Aristotle

Not a Lawyer

You think that I have no strategy because I’m not a lawyer, but it’s because I’m not a lawyer that you don’t perceive my strategy—I am not limited by the way lawyers think. Self

Knowledge Vanishes

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes. Peter F. Drucker

Appeasement Fallacy

Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will turn vegetarian. Heywood Broun

Iliana Rivera Sutton & Aha! Solutions

pinocchio illustrationI endured the experience of dealing with Iliana Rivera Sutton in 2019 and I caution every person, every businesses, and every agency against contracting or employing her or her “company” Aha! Solutions. My personal experience was that she had serious financial mismanagement and zero credibility. Iliana is as truthful as Pinocchio and as successful as poor Geppetto.more ›

Christian Mistreatment

The biggest difference between Christ and most Christians is that Christ didn’t mistreat people. George Carneal

Trusting God

Though he slay me, yet will I trust him Job 13:15

The Unexamined Life

ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ (ho dè anexétastos bíos ou biōtòs anthrṓpōi). The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates

Strength

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is all I will ever need. Psalm 73:26 NLT

Plan A and Plan B

There is no Plan B. You have Plan A, and you keep working at it until it happens. There is no Plan B. Zac Baker, 60 Days In

Plan B gets in the way of Plan A. Ashleigh Baker, 60 Days In

Saving Lives

Whoever saves a single life is considered by scripture to have saved the world. Talmud, Sanhedrin 37a

Looking Back to See Forward

The further back you can look, the further forward you can see. Unknown (often attributed to Winston Churchill, never confirmed)

Plain Honesty

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told. Shakespeare, Richard III

Treatment Hurts

A hurt that cures is better than a hurt that endures. Self

The Crimson White: “Social Security numbers should not be student ID”

The University of Alabama student paper (The Crimson White) April 19, 2002

The Crimson White: Social Security numbers should not be student IDThe last SGA, like so many of us around test time, got a lot of its best work done at the last minute. The 2001-02 Senate passed one of its most important bills just weeks before leaving office.

Resolution 53-01, authored by former graduate school senator John Woodruff and sponsored by 2001-02 Sens. Aubrey Collins and Mario Bailey, asks the University to stop the practice of assigning student identification numbers identical to students’ Social Security numbers.more ›

Inverted culpability

Knowledge of the law is no defense while ignorance of the law is no excuse! self

Contentment Is Good

Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine, and enjoy their work. Ecclesiastes 5:18

American Flag Laws

Congress enacted very precise standards for the American flag (see 4 U.S.C. §§1-10). I want to point out particulatly that the flag must never be sewn as clothing!!! Under §8(d) and §8(j), “[t]he flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery” and “[n]o part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.” American flag bikinis? Illegal. American flag boxers? Illegal. more ›

Future History

Some people think the future means the end of history. Well, we haven’t run out of history quite yet. Your father called the future ‘the undiscovered county.’ People can be very frightened of change. William Shatner as Capt. James T. Kirk in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

Horse’s Tail

Sometimes I’m the head, sometimes the tail. But even the tail leads when the horse finds it necessary to back up. Self

What Money Buys

Money doesn’t buy happiness; it buys entertainment and distraction (either of which is preferable to mindfulness of unhappiness). Self (Chicago, Ill)

Conserve Data & Battery

This task is extremely useful for prolonging battery life while also conserving data consumption. Aside from activating airplane mode, turning the data connection off is the next best power saver! Users may often find themselves in situations like work or school where a constant data connection serves no purpose and drains the battery. By cycling data usage, battery life can be extended by hours! view | save |more ›

Vice of Capitalism, Virtue of Socialism

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill

Perpetual Goal Setting

Never quit. Set a goal and don’t quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don’t quit until you reach it. Never quit. Paul “Bear” Bryant

Fighting Harder

Losing doesn’t make me want to quit. It makes me want to fight that much harder. Paul “Bear” Bryant

Government Fright

I think you all know that I’ve always felt the nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help. Ronald Reagan

Perfect Enough

Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. (The perfect is the enemy of the good) ‍Voltaire

Perfection is the enemy of progress. ‍Winston Churchill

Social Balance

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke (1770)

Toggle Always-on Display

This task toggles and/or sets Samsung’s Always-on Display. Simply calling the task will perform the toggle: specifying “on” or “off” in either par variable will set AOD to that state regardless of the current state. view | save

The other shoe

There are times in your life when you sense that something is about to happen and at the same time you realize it already has. ‍Sarah Polley as Maren Hontvedt in The Weight of Water

Libertarians

Libertarians are the truest conservatives and advocate liberty, not liberalism. Libertarians are governmental minimalists, politically more conservative than Republicans, socially more tolerant than Democrats. The Libertarian mantra sums, “as much liberty as possible” and “as little government as necessary.” more ›

Egotism

It’s so easy to hurt others when you can’t feel pain. Hall & Oates, “Rich Girl”

Victim Narratives

When the wolf tells the story, the sheep and shepherds are always the enemy. Unk

Woodruff v. City of Pelham

Woodruff v. City of Pelham (1 So. 3d 157) began with a petty traffic citation and reached courthouse shenanigans that I just could not tolerate. I won this appeal and the appellate decision has been cited more than two dozen times in state and federal courts. Most significantly, it laid the foundation for vacating Deangelo Thomas’s conviction and three life sentences. But Alabama never lets anyone skate and true to form, Greg Shaw wrote a separate concurring opinion in which he unleashed a vitriolic ad hominem attack. Following the opinion, I will explain the ways that Shaw twisted his pen.more ›

Value of a Word

A word is worth a thousand sentences (to an etymologist). Self

Civil Disobedience

Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves. Henry David Thoreau

Reclaiming Life

No one can give you your life back, so you have to take your life back. Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock in The Defenders

Good Judgment

Good judgment comes from experience which mostly comes from bad judgment. Jason Statham as Arthur Bishop in The Mechanic

Originality and Coincidence

Everything I write is completely original, and any thoughts attributable to another person are entirely coincidental — unless you believe in collective unconsciousness, in which case it is just another expression of the same original thought — unless you subscribe to the notion that everything that is written has already been written before, in which case you have to ask, is the dog chasing its tail or is the tail taunting the dog. Self

Schadenfreude

Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness ‍Micah 7:8-9 KJV

Inverted Iceberg

Don’t be an inverted iceberg where more is seen than unseen. Lori

Errant Conclusions

People jump to the conclusions which best validate their speculations. Self

Today’s Best

The essence of our “best” is not whether it can be somehow improved upon at a later time. Today’s “best” will produce tomorrow’s “better still” which will expose shortcomings of yesterday’s “best.” Our “best” is only our “best” as long as we cannot improve upon it until tomorrow. That is, the essence of our “best” is not whether it can be somehow improved upon at a later time. Our best is cognizable by our inability to improve upon it today‌. Self

The Universe

The universe is far more complex than Genesis, and far more simple than Darwin. Self

Residential Privacy

The most frail cottage in the kingdom is absolutely entitled to the same guarantees of privacy as the most majestic mansion. Florida v. Jimeno,
500 U.S. 248, 254 (1991)

Untimely Experience

Experience is something you don’t have until just after you need it. Self

The Process of Victory

If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards. Paul “Bear” Bryant

Squeaky Wheel

Squeaky wheel gets the grease, sometimes a sledge hammer. ‍Self

Tom Foolery

If you’re “fooling around,” you just might be the fool. Self

Force

My words land hard. Self

Blind Sight

So, you mock my blindness? Let me tell you this. You with your precious eyes, you’re blind to the corruption of your life, to the house you live in, those you live with—who are your parents? Do you know? All unknowing you are the scourge of your own flesh and blood… Sophocles, Oedipus Rex, ±ln 409

Reassembly

Only once we have been shattered can a higher power guide us through the reassembly. Self

Incapable of Incompetence

You are incapable of that level of incompetence. Jonathan Frakes as Cmdr. William Riker in Star Trek: The Next Generation S4E8

Disputation

The person who cannot refute a disagreeable position holds an indefensible position, lacks pathos, or lacks acumen. Self

Extreme Hope

Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery. Bertrand Russell

Tackling Tyrrany

Fear is the tool of a tyrant, Maurene Comey

We will not live on our knees, and you shouldn’t either. James Comey

Mobile Devices while Driving in Alabama

Birmingham has always had incompetent broadcast journalism. For the last year, television and radio outlets claim “Alabama prohibits holding a mobile device while driving.” That is flatly untrue. Journalists should verify facts, not parrot words.more ›

Broken or Hardened

Maybe sometimes it’s better to be broken than to be hardened. David Kaczynski

Difference

If things were different, they wouldn’t be the same. Michael Zaslow as Willard Tappan in Law & Order S5E9

Pipe Dream Foundations

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. Henry David Thoreau

Redefine ‘Progress’

Let us redefine ‘progress’ to mean that just because we can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that we must do that thing. Kurtwood Smith as Federation President in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

Marty Bruce

Marty Aaron Bruce was once a canine deputy sheriff in Valdosta/Lowndes County, Georgia. He was forced to resign after repeated abusive conduct culminating in a civil rights lawsuit for assaulting an airman stationed at Moody Air Force Base.more ›

Relationships

People date those they WANT to fall in love with, not those they know they actually could love. Self

No hope of victory

You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves. ‍Winston Churchill

Omnia in glorium Dei

sive ergo manducatis sive bibitis vel aliud quid facitis omnia in gloriam Dei facite Cor I 10,31

Accomplish Quickly

Anything worth doing is worth doing quickly, because science moves on, and we’re all mortal, and you want to do things. Eric Cornell on Nova S35E1 (“Absolute Zero”)

Optics are secondary

Who cares about the cussing? Who cares about the optics? I care about the Constitution. I care about the fact that no one bothered to point out the real problem here. […] Even if it wasn’t an autistic kid, if it was an unsympathetic criminal, it is just as serious. John H. Bryan, Esq.

Fake Doctorates (feat. Christopher Hylton)

Christopher Hylton claims to have a “Doctorate of Theology [from] Piedmont Bible College of Theology,” but Piedmont does not confer theology doctorates (Th.D.). Piedmont also does not confer divinity doctorates (D.Div.). Piedmont narrowly offers a “Doctor of Ministry” in “biblical preaching, church revitalization, and ministry.” It is a non-academic, thirty-six credit online program “designed for those who aspire to excel at the highest level in the practice of ministry.” No dissertation is required for Piedmont’s D.Min. Whether a “Piedmont Bible College of Theology” ever existed is doubtful. There was once a Piedmont Bible College that merged with other schools. It now exists as Piedmont Divinity School within Carolina University (a college with a flimsy accreditation claim and a troubling percentage of adjunct faculty). All this reminds me of another blogger’s post on televangelists buying fake doctorates. This shit bothers me.more ›

Certificates of Service

Certificates of services are required for almost every court filings. Attorneys generally copy-paste some perfunctory prose for decades without ever revising the text for ongoing changes to state and federal rules of procedure. I offer these suggestions for modernizing certificates of service. Here is my omnibus modernization.more ›

Punctuality

Arriving late wastes your time. Arriving early wastes my time. Self

MacGyver

Some people can MacGyver any problem. Other people somehow will MacFucker every problem. Self

Hindsight

My hindsight is so good, I should walk through life backward. Self

Lives Lived

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts. William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II Scene VII

Seeking the Unattainable

Never stop seeking what seems unattainable. Stephanie Niznik as The Wraith in Star Trek: Enterprise S1E18 (“Rogue Planet”)

Discovering Truth

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. Galileo Galilei

The Birmingham News: “Bill to expunge records stalled in House panel”

The Birmingham News: "Bill to expunge records stalled in House panel"I am asking for your help in raisíng public awareness of Senate Bill 178 and House Bill 81. I and many others need these bills to pass so we wiIl have a fair standing.

Unlike our neighboring states, Alabama has no provision for expunging the proceedings against a person once he is exonerated of a criminal charge. This might not have mattered 10 years ago, but the digital age puts information on the desktops of anyone who wants it.more ›

Churchplay

Churchplay is a lot like horseplay. self

Risk Reward

The fucking you aim to give me ain’t worth the fucking I’ll give you in return. Self

Challenging Paths

If you’re not facing challenges, you’re not pursuing your destiny. Self

Audacity and Destiny

One man can summon the future. Jolene Blalock as T’Pol in Star Trek Enterprise S4E13 (“Unified”)

Announce Profiles

This profile announces the profiles as they become active and avoids the alternative of putting a statement in every profile. If multiple profiles activate simultaneously they will be combined in a single grammatically correct announcement. Great for trouble­shooting profile bugs. view | save

No Fairness in Life

Not all things in life are colored with the same shade of crayon (and some ill-deserving bastard will always have the deluxe set). Self

Unnecessary Words

I don’t need to hear what you don’t need to say. Diana Muldaur as Katherine Pulaski in Star Trek: The Next Generation S2E14 (“The Icarus Factor”)

Homily Paradox

If we’re supposed to make lemonade when life brings us lemons, when life brings us plums, should we make prune juice? Self

Maintaining Liberty

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself. Thomas Paine (1795)

Apathy Nurtures Evil

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke (disputed)

Fishing and Catching

If you keep fishing in same old sewers, you’ll keep catching the same old shit. Self

Minimalist Cheets

One-liner to calculate the binary value to toggle, enable, or disable an option via Java Function or Tasker Settings:
%val = ceil((abs(%val - 1) + %par(#?1/on/true) - %par(#?0/off/false))/(2+%par(#)))
%val is the binary value of the current state, if first retrieved. Otherwise, will perform toggle, or will perform absolute stating if passed a parameter
One-liner to extract a base-12 hour from Tasker’s base-24 %TIME variable:
%hour = floor(%TIME) - floor(%TIME/13)*12 + floor(abs(floor(%TIME) - 24)/24)*12
The first segment extracts the hour by discarding the minutes; the second segment subtracts any p.m. offset (from 13.00 to 23.00); the third segment converts midnight (00:00) to 12.
One-liner to add arbitrary minutes to Tasker’s base-24 %TIME variable:
%future = floor(%TIME) + floor(((%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)/60) - floor((floor(%TIME) + floor(((%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)/60))/24)*24   +   (((floor(%TIME)*60 + (%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)) % 60)/100
To prettify the output, append +100.001 to the formula and a separate variable search/replace for 1(?=\d\d\.)|(?<=\.\d\d)1 which will eliminate the hundred and hundredth, leaving behind the placeholders.