Writings of an asperger polemicist provocateur
I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you’ve probably misunderstood what I’ve said. Alan Greenspan
I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Alan Greenspan
There have been times throughout American history where what is right is not the same as what is legal. Sometimes to do the right thing you have to break a law. Edward Snowden
Everything is unprecedented until it happens for the first time. Tom Hanks as Chelsey Sullenberger in Sully
People do not deeply examine that which they deeply disdain. Kellyanne Conway on The Daily
Appeasement only makes the aggressor more aggressive. Henry Strozier as Dean Rusk in Thirteen Days
An honest tale speeds best being plainly told. Shakespeare, Richard III
If you keep fishing in same old sewers, you’ll keep catching the same old shit. Self
Arriving late wastes your time. Arriving early wastes my time. Self
Haste is the enemy of Prudence. Self
Let us redefine ‘progress’ to mean that just because we can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that we must do that thing. Kurtwood Smith as Federation President in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. William of Ockham
Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery. Bertrand Russell
You can take back your memories; they’re no good to me. All-American Rejects, “Gives You Hell”
Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine, and enjoy their work. Ecclesiastes 5:18
The law holds that it is better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer. William Blackstone (1769)
It was better to let the crime of a guilty person go unpunished than to condemn the innocent. Coffin, et al. v. United States, 156 U.S. 432 (1895)
A man’s right to swing his fist ends at his neighbor’s nose. A neighbor’s right to be nosy stops at a man’s fist. Self
Sometimes pain screams so loud that we can’t hear Wisdom whisper. Self
Pain speaks louder than healing and agony argues with wisdom. Self
Don’t be an inverted iceberg where more is seen than unseen. Lori
The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy. Hence the saying: One may know how to conquer without being able to do it. 孫子 (Sun Tzu), The Art of War
NPR’s This American Life spent October 2013 at a Jeep dealership on Long Island, New York as the sales teams scrambles for its corporate incentive goal of 129 cars. If they make it, the dealership gets a huge bonus from Chrysler between $65,000 and $85,000 (depending on the models sold). So they pull out all the stops and in the process reveal a great deal about how to reverse the process to get a better deal when buying a car.
Experience is something you don’t have until just after you need it. Self
I led the horse to water. I made the horse drink. The horse drowned in the process. I beat the dead horse to a pulp. The currents carried away the horse. The horse is no longer my problem. Self
People jump to the conclusions which best validate their speculations. Self
Cousin, you so dumb that smacking you in the head with the stupid stick would raise your IQ. Self
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the universe. That makes us something very special. Stephen Hawking
Behold, that which I have built will I break down, and that which I have planted I will pluck up, even this whole land. And seekest thou great things for thyself? Seek them not. Jer 45:4-5 KJV
Tu invidia es mi progreso. lema anónima peruana
There is no “I” in team, but there are twice as many “eyes” as there are players and an “aye” in the middle. Self
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke (disputed)
We are accountable not for what we are taught but for what we learn. (In other words, we are not accountable for being taught bigotry or racism or sexism or xenophobia, but we are accountable for learning those behaviors.) Self
Churchplay is a lot like horseplay. self
Some people can MacGyver any problem. Other people somehow will MacFucker every problem. Self
A word is worth a thousand sentences (to an etymologist). Self
I don’t need to hear what you don’t need to say. Diana Muldaur as Katherine Pulaski in Star Trek: The Next Generation S2E14 (“The Icarus Factor”)
Wayne and Garth try to screw with the drive-through order taker…to their chagrin. Classic hillarity from Wayne’s World 2
About a year before I came to UA, I had an interesting encounter with a man who called himself “Brother Jim.” Brother Jim upset a lot of people on the University of Montevallo campus. A few students cried; some vociferated rebuttals; still others did nothing.
What I had trouble understanding that day was why my intelligent peers continued to congregate around that man when few, if any, supported his assertions. My pal Kristin tried to explain her compulsion to me this way: “I need to be here so that others will know that what he’s saying isn’t the truth.”more ›
Take me for what I am, but believe in me for what I will be. Self
Beauty is truth, truth beauty—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn
You don’t need to boil the ocean to make a cup of coffee. unk
Christopher Hylton claims to have a “Doctorate of Theology [from] Piedmont Bible College of Theology,” but Piedmont does not confer theology doctorates (Th.D.). Piedmont also does not confer divinity doctorates (D.Div.). Piedmont narrowly offers a “Doctor of Ministry” in “biblical preaching, church revitalization, and ministry.” It is a non-academic, thirty-six credit online program “designed for those who aspire to excel at the highest level in the practice of ministry.” No dissertation is required for Piedmont’s D.Min. Whether a “Piedmont Bible College of Theology” ever existed is doubtful. There was once a Piedmont Bible College that merged with other schools. It now exists as Piedmont Divinity School within Carolina University (a college with a flimsy accreditation claim and a troubling percentage of adjunct faculty). All this reminds me of another blogger’s post on televangelists buying fake doctorates. This shit bothers me.more ›
Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. (The perfect is the enemy of the good) Voltaire
Perfection is the enemy of progress. Winston Churchill
There is no proselyter half so energetic as the hard-shelled atheist. Heywood Broun
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. Stanisław Lec (disputed)
Congress enacted very precise standards for the American flag (see 4 U.S.C. §§1-10). I want to point out particulatly that the flag must never be sewn as clothing!!! Under §8(d) and §8(j), “[t]he flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery” and “[n]o part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.” American flag bikinis? Illegal. American flag boxers? Illegal. more ›
I’m doing what I can, when I can, as best I can, and hope for whatever grace can be found. Self
they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon. 2 Nephi 2:26
Time Recording Pro is a useful app, but Android design changes prevent it from acquiring location in the background. As a result, automated punches through Tasker are not able to record the location in the work unit notes. This profile fixes the issue using Android’s location service and geocoder to accomplish the task. view | save
Good judgment comes from experience which mostly comes from bad judgment. Jason Statham as Arthur Bishop in The Mechanic
Some whom the nation condemns as traitors are patriots because they give their lives so that freedom might live. Self
This is a bill that I authored and endeavored to present to the Alabama legislature. No senators or representatives were willing to take the risk. TO BE VERY CLEAR, THIS PROPOSED BILL NEVER BECAME LAW. In 2023 I decided to make it available online in hopes that the right eyes might find it and effect the change that I could not. more ›
When a man cannot choose he ceases yo be a man. Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange
This profile scans wifi SSIDs and places the phone in vibrate in an number of situations such as religious centers, schools, theaters, and the like. Of course, it will not help if the location does not have wifi or if the wifi name does not contain a listed keyword, but on balance this profile should reduce the number of embarrassing or annoying disruptions. view | save
There are times in your life when you sense that something is about to happen and at the same time you realize it already has. Sarah Polley as Maren Hontvedt in The Weight of Water
Mental health issue: failing to operate as if not having the mind of Christ and power Self
Woodruff v. City of Pelham (1 So. 3d 157) began with a petty traffic citation and reached courthouse shenanigans that I just could not tolerate. I won this appeal and the appellate decision has been cited more than two dozen times in state and federal courts. Most significantly, it laid the foundation for vacating Deangelo Thomas’s conviction and three life sentences. But Alabama never lets anyone skate and true to form, Greg Shaw wrote a separate concurring opinion in which he unleashed a vitriolic ad hominem attack. Following the opinion, I will explain the ways that Shaw twisted his pen.more ›
The easiest way to learn to forgive is to surround yourself with and read about people who have learned to forgive. Their stories will impart the ability. Hillary Rodham Clinton
One man can summon the future. Jolene Blalock as T’Pol in Star Trek Enterprise S4E13 (“Unified”)
The essence of our “best” is not whether it can be somehow improved upon at a later time. Today’s “best” will produce tomorrow’s “better still” which will expose shortcomings of yesterday’s “best.” Our “best” is only our “best” as long as we cannot improve upon it until tomorrow. That is, the essence of our “best” is not whether it can be somehow improved upon at a later time. Our best is cognizable by our inability to improve upon it today. Self
And the truth about me is not that I’m really volatile and I’m unstable, but that I’m really vibrant, and the color of my sorrow is just as bright as the stripes of my delight. Jenny Slate on All Things Considered
Attorney Larry Michael “Mickey” Johnson (Nashville, Ga) is an unmotivated piece of shit (which leads me to suspect the same of his legal assistant/wife for as it is said, birds of a feather flock together).more ›
A hurt that cures is better than a hurt that endures. Self
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill
Some people think the future means the end of history. Well, we haven’t run out of history quite yet. Your father called the future ‘the undiscovered county.’ People can be very frightened of change. William Shatner as Capt. James T. Kirk in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
My hindsight is so good, I should walk through life backward. Self
You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. Aristotle
I think you all know that I’ve always felt the nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help. Ronald Reagan
Maybe sometimes it’s better to be broken than to be hardened. David Kaczynski
Georgia Senator Joshua McKoon proposed a state constitutional amendment to require that all government business be conducted in English and it makes no good sense. As a citizen with one foot still in Georgia (and the other foot looking for better soil to tread), this moronic initiative bothered me when I first heard of it, but it has really stuck in my craw and I must now speak out.more ›
It is not that I know it all, but rather that I know the one who knows it all. Self
Knowledge of the law is no defense while ignorance of the law is no excuse! self
When the wolf tells the story, the sheep and shepherds are always the enemy. Unk
A windows batch file quickly enables Tasker to unlock all of the ADB wifi commands. Copy/paste these lines and save as “adb.bat”. Run the batch file after connecting Android devices to a windows machine.more ›
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life, a leadership of frankness and of vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. And I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
[T]ruth is best discovered by powerful statements on both sides of the question. Lord John Scott Eldon (1751-1838) quoting Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
Whoever saves a single life is considered by scripture to have saved the world. Talmud, Sanhedrin 37a
When you forgive yourself, whether others forgive you becomes less relevant. Self
Reality is nothing more than a persistent illusion. Albert Einstein
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Heraclitus
Everything I write is completely original, and any thoughts attributable to another person are entirely coincidental — unless you believe in collective unconsciousness, in which case it is just another expression of the same original thought — unless you subscribe to the notion that everything that is written has already been written before, in which case you have to ask, is the dog chasing its tail or is the tail taunting the dog. Self
The 1999 breakout band 7 Leguas had a smash debut album, Sombras Largas. The band has a proto-Evanescence vibe and Marta Folqués (lead vocals) had a versatile broadway power and a breathy rasp long before Adele even thought about success.
I was created out of phase with everyone else so that I might see what no one else sees Self
It’s so easy to hurt others when you can’t feel pain. Hall & Oates, “Rich Girl”
He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself. Thomas Paine (1795)
So, you mock my blindness? Let me tell you this. You with your precious eyes, you’re blind to the corruption of your life, to the house you live in, those you live with—who are your parents? Do you know? All unknowing you are the scourge of your own flesh and blood… Sophocles, Oedipus Rex, ±ln 409
Unprincipled people can’t engage principled people
. Self
Go big or go home, but don’t bet the farm or the cow so that there is still a home option. Self
Go big or go home, but make sure you don’t bet the farm or the cow. Self
Go big or go home, but be judicious in going all-in so that there will still be a farm and a cow waiting if going home becomes necessary. Self
The further back you can look, the further forward you can see. Unknown (often attributed to Winston Churchill, never confirmed)
The most frail cottage in the kingdom is absolutely entitled to the same guarantees of privacy as the most majestic mansion. Florida v. Jimeno,
500 U.S. 248, 254 (1991)
%val = ceil((abs(%val - 1) + %par(#?1/on/true) - %par(#?0/off/false))/(2+%par(#)))
%hour = floor(%TIME) - floor(%TIME/13)*12 + floor(abs(floor(%TIME) - 24)/24)*12
%future = floor(%TIME) + floor(((%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)/60) - floor((floor(%TIME) + floor(((%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)/60))/24)*24 + (((floor(%TIME)*60 + (%TIME - floor(%TIME))*100 + %mins)) % 60)/100
+100.001 to the formula and a separate variable search/replace for 1(?=\d\d\.)|(?<=\.\d\d)1 which will eliminate the hundred and hundredth, leaving behind the placeholders.My words land hard. Self
May this suffering be removed from me and cast upon my enemies (and may they know whence it came!). Self (recovering from first-ever migraine)
Words to inspire, words to motivate, words to prioritize, words to convict, words to empower.more ›
I never thought of the possibility of failing, only of the fame and glory I was going to get when I won. I could see it. I could almost feel it. When I proclaimed that I was the greatest of all time, I believed in myself, and I still do. Mohammed Ali
Libertarians are the truest conservatives and advocate liberty, not liberalism. Libertarians are governmental minimalists, politically more conservative than Republicans, socially more tolerant than Democrats. The Libertarian mantra sums, “as much liberty as possible” and “as little government as necessary.” more ›
The best cure for melancholy is industry. Sarah Polley as Maren Hontvedt in The Weight of Water
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is all I will ever need. Psalm 73:26 NLT
Squeaky wheel gets the grease, sometimes a sledge hammer. Self
Be more committed to your defense than your opponent is to the attack. Self
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha
It is never too late to be what you might have been. George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety. Abraham Maslow
One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again. Abraham Maslow
I can’t tell you what I don’t know! Dominic Keating as Malcolm Reed in Star Trek: Enterprise S4E16 (“Divergence”)
Marty Aaron Bruce was once a canine deputy sheriff in Valdosta/Lowndes County, Georgia. He was forced to resign after repeated abusive conduct culminating in a civil rights lawsuit for assaulting an airman stationed at Moody Air Force Base.more ›
Much study is a weariness of the flesh. Ecclesiastes 12:12
This profile will automatically reject and log pre-defined callers. Three examples are provided in within its anonymous task: The first demonstrates the format for denying a specific number; the second demonstrates the format for blocking a specific extension (i.e. 222-333-XXXX); the third demonstrates syntax for combining rejection rules (preferable to numerous OR conditions for faster processing). Any blocked numbers are stored in a CSV file on the root directory. view | savemore ›
When someone says something completely looney-tunes, assume that it is not said seriously.
Would you punch yourself in a street fight? Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight.” Denzel Washington as Melvin Tolson in The Great Debaters
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke (1770)
Extreme expression will push others to respond with extreme action Self
Fear is the tool of a tyrant. Maurene Comey
We will not live on our knees, and you shouldn’t either. James Comey
Morality cannot be legislated. Self
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. Galileo Galilei
My brain was firing on all five cylinders today. Self
You are incapable of that level of incompetence. Jonathan Frakes as Cmdr. William Riker in Star Trek: The Next Generation S4E8
You think that I have no strategy because I’m not a lawyer, but it’s because I’m not a lawyer that you don’t perceive my strategy—I am not limited by the way lawyers think. Self
Never quit. Set a goal and don’t quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don’t quit until you reach it. Never quit. Paul “Bear” Bryant
Money doesn’t buy happiness; it buys entertainment and distraction (either of which is preferable to mindfulness of unhappiness). Self (Chicago, Ill)
The fucking you aim to give me ain’t worth the fucking I’ll give you in return. Self
I endured the experience of dealing with Iliana Rivera Sutton in 2019 and I caution every person, every businesses, and every agency against contracting or employing her or her “company” Aha! Solutions. My personal experience was that she had serious financial mismanagement and zero credibility. Iliana is as truthful as Pinocchio and as successful as poor Geppetto.more ›
Birmingham has always had incompetent broadcast journalism. For the last year, television and radio outlets claim “Alabama prohibits holding a mobile device while driving.” That is flatly untrue. Journalists should verify facts, not parrot words.more ›
There’s not much difference between ‘mouse’ and ‘mouth’ except between the jaws of a cat. Self
Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will turn vegetarian. Heywood Broun
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves. Henry David Thoreau
Constancy is keeping your mind made up while keeping it open too. Self
Nothing unreal exists. Leonard Nimoy as Spock in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Sometimes I’m the head, sometimes the tail. But even the tail leads when the horse finds it necessary to back up. Self
The universe is far more complex than Genesis, and far more simple than Darwin. Self
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein
It would seem that there are three types of people: cowards who run from risk, fools who ignore risk, and agents who accept risk. Self
The law has no moral or ethic; it is merely just or unjust, fair or unfair. Self
Manspaining uses 100 words for unambiguous communication. Womansplaining uses 100 words for communicating absolutely nothing.
Self
Though he slay me, yet will I trust him Job 13:15
If things were different, they wouldn’t be the same. Michael Zaslow as Willard Tappan in Law & Order S5E9
Understand as it is, imagine as it can, strive as it will. Self
I am asking for your help in raisíng public awareness of Senate Bill 178 and House Bill 81. I and many others need these bills to pass so we wiIl have a fair standing.
Unlike our neighboring states, Alabama has no provision for expunging the proceedings against a person once he is exonerated of a criminal charge. This might not have mattered 10 years ago, but the digital age puts information on the desktops of anyone who wants it.more ›
Losing doesn’t make me want to quit. It makes me want to fight that much harder. Paul “Bear” Bryant
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but let’s not leave any stone unturned either. Self
We often ask for signs when what we really want is encouragement. Self
Who cares about the cussing? Who cares about the optics? I care about the Constitution. I care about the fact that no one bothered to point out the real problem here. […] Even if it wasn’t an autistic kid, if it was an unsympathetic criminal, it is just as serious. John H. Bryan, Esq.
Never stop seeking what seems unattainable. Stephanie Niznik as The Wraith in Star Trek: Enterprise S1E18 (“Rogue Planet”)
Does having sex on the brain make the person a mastermind? Self
Not all things in life are colored with the same shade of crayon (and some ill-deserving bastard will always have the deluxe set). Self
If you’re not facing challenges, you’re not pursuing your destiny. Self
Um, have we met? My initials are A.D.H.D. Self
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness Micah 7:8-9 KJV
So live, that when thy summons comes to join the innumerable caravan, which moves to that mysterious realm, where each shall take his chamber in the silent halls of death, thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night, scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed by an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave. William Cullen Bryant, “Thanatopsis”
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
The 16 worst places to stash your stuff
Location, location, location: Store owners aren’t the only ones concerned with finding the perfect spot in which to situate their stuff. Researchers in a wide variety of fields know that how you organize your environment — from where you stand in fitness class to the place you choose to store your meds — has a surprising effect on everything from your weight to your chances of staying well. In other words, when it comes to how you feel, it’s not just what you do, it’s where you do it. Here, surprisingly bad locales for your health — and the best places to optimize it.more ›
That is a possible explanation but another explanation is possibly very probable. Self
This task is extremely useful for prolonging battery life while also conserving data consumption. Aside from activating airplane mode, turning the data connection off is the next best power saver! Users may often find themselves in situations like work or school where a constant data connection serves no purpose and drains the battery. By cycling data usage, battery life can be extended by hours! view | save |more ›
Only once we have been shattered can a higher power guide us through the reassembly. Self
If you’re “fooling around,” you just might be the fool. Self
I was once obliged to deep-dive Alabama’s insane misdemeanor trial system, the explanation of which requires some 2,000 words. I choose to make the research available as a public service so that idiot legislators and lazy attorneys get the facts right. more ›
I don’t have to be blind to recognize braille. That doesn’t mean I claim to read it. Self
Knowing little dreams lots. Self
Fortuna est quae fit cum praeparatio in occasionem incidit. [Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity] Seneca
Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation. Zig Ziglar
There is no Plan B. You have Plan A, and you keep working at it until it happens. There is no Plan B. Zac Baker, 60 Days In
Plan B gets in the way of Plan A. Ashleigh Baker, 60 Days In
Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes. Peter F. Drucker
This “ignore cells” regex will cause the profile to remain active by disregarding building deadspots and transient misreads of tower IDs.
!~R^(\p{L}{3,}:(\d{4,}|\d{3}\.\d{3})\.\d{3,})?(?:\b|$)
If we’re supposed to make lemonade when life brings us lemons, when life brings us plums, should we make prune juice? Self
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake
The person who cannot refute a disagreeable position holds an indefensible position, lacks pathos, or lacks acumen. Self
You’re not wrong, but you’re also not fully correct. Self
No one can give you your life back, so you have to take your life back. Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock in The Defenders
The University of Alabama student paper (The Crimson White) April 19, 2002
The last SGA, like so many of us around test time, got a lot of its best work done at the last minute. The 2001-02 Senate passed one of its most important bills just weeks before leaving office.
Resolution 53-01, authored by former graduate school senator John Woodruff and sponsored by 2001-02 Sens. Aubrey Collins and Mario Bailey, asks the University to stop the practice of assigning student identification numbers identical to students’ Social Security numbers.more ›
Smart is not a color that smells good on you. Self
I’m a private citizen with rights, but you’re a public servant with duties. Self
Anything worth doing is worth doing quickly, because science moves on, and we’re all mortal, and you want to do things. Eric Cornell, Nova S35E1 (“Absolute Zero”)
Just because something is out of our control does not mean that it is outside of our influence. Self
Our rights don’t end where your fear begins. Freedom is scary. Deal with it. John Bryan
sive ergo manducatis sive bibitis vel aliud quid facitis omnia in gloriam Dei facite Cor I 10,31
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu
People date those they WANT to fall in love with, not those they know they actually could love. Self
The biggest difference between Christ and most Christians is that Christ didn’t mistreat people. George Carneal
Certificates of services are required for almost every court filings. Attorneys generally copy-paste some perfunctory prose for decades without ever revising the text for ongoing changes to state and federal rules of procedure. I offer these suggestions for modernizing certificates of service. Here is my omnibus modernization.more ›